Christopher called someone out for disconnecting on his Old Monk invader, and got a fairly typical response. 

transcript: Im not dealing with any bullshit.

Lots of new submitters lately! Thanks barklikea and everyone else for keeping this blog running. :)

I was invading in that throne area in the new DLC. This guy was fully decked out in the grym helm, the jester top, the works.    I fought him by the stair case on the other side of that giant chain. He healed about 5 times during this encounter and on his final run and heal attempt, I crushed him with a plunging attack. He seemed to think I was using the red tear stone ring (wasn’t), Sadly I use three swords (drakeblood great, fume, and an estoc) so I’m not sure which one was the “pussy weapon”.  The best part, he seems mad that i was using a shield for it’s intended purpose. 

My replies: which one? the club or katanas? (weapons he used) you should give blocking a try, would cut back on the healing needed. 

transcript (1) pussy weapon (2) Yet you had the pussy ring on with that bitch weapon that makes you do 99x more damage when your getting you shit pushed in pussy then you put the shield up to block everything then hit get fucking good lil kid

Anonymous said: Solaire, you dumbass! Start making sense, you rotten phantom, or you're gonna be sorry! Maybe I'll rip your limbs off, one-by-one! Or maybe I'll put you in the goddamn furnace! How can someone with such a big, smart brain get hypnotized like a little bitch?! Huh!? Oh, Sunlord! I love you, Sunlord! Come over here and give Solaire a big sloppy kiss, Sunlord! Now pull your head out of your goddamn ass and START FUCKING HELPING US!!

buttonwaffle said: The worst part of playing PC is I miss out on all the hatemail. Its still possible, but they have to add me before being able to talk trash. This nearly never happens. This blog is doing a serious service for me. Thanks, and keep it up!

I still get a pretty good amount of PC hate despite that, but definitely not as much as the console versions.

This isn’t the first time Nameless has sent in hate from Alastor here, click the tag below to check out the first one.

transcript: (1) blocklisted scum (2) stfu u fuckin piece of shit

From new submitter innocentdusty, who says: 

This guy was a sore loser. I beat him twice and he heals the moment he nearly dies.Got this treasure

transcript: lucky bitch

Christopher has turned to the dark side and started ganking in Heidi’s tower. 
transcript: r u serios so idiot????

Christopher has turned to the dark side and started ganking in Heidi’s tower. 

transcript: r u serios so idiot????

justrice is back with some of that good ole batshit insane hatemail.

It started with him saying “stay off my bridge” after beating me. Things escalated when I replied with “good job.” He’s still sending messages and I keep replying and he’s doing the same to my brother and now it’s just reached epic proportions of what the fuck and hilarious.

transcript: (1) honestly you just (2) beat by a 1 handed (3) 12 year old (4) you need to get good get good faggot (5) funny thin is you know all about the anal rape in prison dont you?? make you home sick right

chipslight said: I don't understand soft bans in Dark Souls II. I got soft banned 2 days ago for absolutely NO reason and I don't think farming the Giant Lord to get to 15M faster is not a legit way. Now, what do I do ? Make another account or whine to Namco about it ?

As far as I understand (and someone please correct me if I’m wrong here) FROM seems to be soft banning people who make adjustments to their Soul Memory, and usually pretty obvious ones at that. It isn’t consistent, because I’ve seen people who are doing crazy shit in the game with CE never get soft-banning, but it’s pretty much confirmed to exist by the Reddit crowd (as well as various people that I talk to through this site and my personal tumblr). 

For those that don’t know, “soft banning” means that you can only play multiplayer with other people FROM has decided are cheaters. Usually you’ll start noticing a sudden decrease of summons signs (red or white) and then start noticing that all of the signs are from the same people. 

The only option for becoming un-banned was to create a new account using Family Sharing, but that wasn’t great for a lot of reasons. Then this post on Reddit claimed there was another way, and the handful of people I know that have tried it says it worked for them. I’ve heard there’s a similar thing on 360, but haven’t looked up instructions (I’ve also heard paying MS the $10 to change your Gamertag is a workaround on 360, but haven’t confirmed that one myself). 

Bamco’s official response has been a form letter that essentially says “you’re a cheater, goodbye” and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. I think FROM is trying to the right thing here, but they are going about it so wrong it’s kind of funny. They aren’t exactly the world’s best PC developer, so it isn’t a surprise that this sort of stuff is happening. 

In the meantime, if you’ve got your own stories about being soft-banned, or anything you’ve done to fix it, send them in and I’ll try to post them throughout the day.

Let’s all pour out some Estus on the ground. This is Sightless’ last bit of hatemail he received before being unfairly softbanned from Dark Souls II. He’s decided to move onto the PC version, so hopefully he’ll be riling all the nerds up on that platform. We’ll miss ya, buddy.

PS: “u dont even hv legs” ahahahahahaahahahah

After beating the DLC I decided to spend some time invading the first bonfire inside of it and I ran into this guy. I cancelled his buff stacking during our first encounter and proceeded to knock him around with a greatclub until I flung him off a cliff face with a well times R2. Got the first message moments later and the second after I told him he may need to change his gamertag to reflect his abilities more closely.

Apparently using Profound Still to stop buff stacking and spell casting is an ‘unfair advantage’ and I shared with him my not at all sarcastic agreement on the matter while sharing that we should also remove armor and shields from the game to avoid anyone getting an unfair advantage over another player. Apparently this kind of reasoning is ‘ridiculous’. Who’d have thought?

After telling him to quit whining about his loss though he seemed to buck up and demanded a 1v1. I, being the bastard everyone seems to think I am, agreed, though I pointed out that one hit was a bit lenient to remove him from the ‘Bad At PvP’ tier. He raised the stakes and I of course wasn’t about to let him down!

Once he summoned me in I hit him with roughly 20 casts of Acid Surge and broke all of his armor and rings before I stopped dodging all his hits and just parried the greatsword spam he was throwing out. Got less of a reaction out of him than I thought I would but hey, ya get what ya get.

transcript: (1) u r an ass (2) u charged scrub (3) youre som1 who requires unfair advantages (4) u dont even hv legs (5) u r ridiculous (6) wow son 1v1 me in da same area and if i dont hit u once im bad (7) 1 third hlth or death if im as bad as u say i am i wouldnt be able <3 u better not die mister MLG if i win IDGAF if u win brag if u wish kid (8) urrrrrggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!

I&#8217;m loving the horrible misspellings in this. It takes special skill to misspell the same word twice, in two different ways, in the same sentence. Thanks Seyn!
"Blee whips" are the new meta.
[Gent][LP]Simpson: hey asshole try using proper wepons and not cheap broken whepons like a fucking blee whipCourageour Knight: you died[Gent][LP]Simpson: probably because your cheap

I’m loving the horrible misspellings in this. It takes special skill to misspell the same word twice, in two different ways, in the same sentence. Thanks Seyn!

"Blee whips" are the new meta.

[Gent][LP]Simpson: hey asshole try using proper wepons and not cheap broken whepons like a fucking blee whip
Courageour Knight: you died
[Gent][LP]Simpson: probably because your cheap

(Reblogged from steelheartellie)

What am I gonna do if Nameless ever stops playing Dark Souls?! Probably shut down the damn site.

transcript (1) Backstabbing Ultra Greatsword little noob (2) 1: You are the one invading me with an Ultra Greatsword and aiming for backstabbing. How that is not noobish and cowardly is unknown to me. (3) 2: How would you say I panicked exactly? (4) I still don’t find your excuse valid for the backstab, but what can ya do, it’s people like you that ruin Souls online (5) Oh right, so your multitude of fights has allowed you to be able to do a Psychoanalysis on people through the sheer minimalism of their Game Avatar and not once made you (6) made you consider becoming a Worthwhile invader that gives an actual fight. Sod Education, just invade people for a degree.

ask-yonder-heide-knight is a new submitter, and describes the story like this: 

*Invaded by Santier’s Personal scrub*
*Parries scrub 4 consecutive times*
*Kills scrub*
*Receives message from scrub*

Transcript: “tryin to be a parry master? lmao”