Robert gets his first taste of DS2 hatemail:

Guy camping the ladders with soul arrows in Huntsman’s Copse, didn’t appreciate that when I get bored I get irritating.

transcript: (1) Heal more you shit cunt. I can’t heal and I din’t fish for backstabs… You should be ashamed you shit retard. (2) Spam cast ROFL! I barely used my sells. Die more? We both know that if you wasn’t being a lil bitch that I would have won. You’re a sad excuse for a Dark Souls Player.

It may not be hate, but it’s certainly fucking dumb (respect for the PSN name tho)
well im SORRY im using means that are IN THE GAME. where is this code of conduct you seem to be living by so i that i may burn it
it may not be explicit hate, but the man is clearly rumpmangled.
transcript: twop? lame mushroom ? scrubby

It may not be hate, but it’s certainly fucking dumb (respect for the PSN name tho)

well im SORRY im using means that are IN THE GAME. where is this code of conduct you seem to be living by so i that i may burn it

it may not be explicit hate, but the man is clearly rumpmangled.

transcript: twop? lame mushroom ? scrubby

As someone that spent most of a Sunday grinding chunks by killing trespassers, I agree.
I guess he’s never seen a bellbro before…? It’s all about the chunks, honor be damned.
transcript: man ive never seen such a pussy run behind creatures

As someone that spent most of a Sunday grinding chunks by killing trespassers, I agree.

I guess he’s never seen a bellbro before…? It’s all about the chunks, honor be damned.

transcript: man ive never seen such a pussy run behind creatures

th3albo asked: hello! i'm kinda new to dark souls pvp, looking forward to some hate to send!, i've been lurking in this tumbrl for about 6 months! great blog, funny stuff, now to the question, any suggestion for a low skill level, rage inducing build?

If you’re talking DS1, I’d suggest something around SL30, which will let you invade anywhere from the Depths to the Lord Soul areas. Pick a couple of weapons you like, make them lightning or fire, and go to town (a lot of people opt for only upgrading their weapons to +5 for low SL invasions, but it’s up to you). Bring Lloyd’s Talismans, dung pies, fire bombs. Try to make your host’s life a living hell before finally killing them.

If you’re talking DS2, there’s no easy way to get orbs until you’re fairly into the game, and even then grinding orbs in the BloodBro arena with a low SL build won’t be fun. Plus, it doesn’t matter anyway, since matchmaking is all done by Soul Memory instead of Soul Level. There are, in theory, more tools to aggravate your host (like corrosive urns to break their equipment), but I haven’t found them all that useful. 

If you’re just looking for hatemail in DS2, find the Bat Staff, attune Dark Fog, and insta-poison people all day long. Maybe bring Great Resolent Resonant Soul to really piss people off.

Edit: for some reason I read “resonant” as “resolent” and I have no idea why

More from ZombieSecurity: 

[This] is a guy I invaded in Sen’s Fortress with my glass cannon mage. I one-shotted the guy with a Crystal Soul Spear, and he sent the message a few minutes later. What else could I reply with but “YOU DIED”?

transcript: you fucking faggot i hate you this game already irritating as fuck.. get a life

Spazmaster is back with more ds2 hate!

transcript: (1) dont even act like u know DS ur garbage (2) u faggot ur terrible (3) what a pathetic excuse u obviously are a casual newb that hides behind npcs (4) stf chode use OP pyro while 1v2 fuckin delusional if u think u did anything special 

Played 250 times

Nayfin sent in some audio hate awhile back, but I totally missed it in the inbox. Which sucks because I love audio hate. Anyway, I’ll let Nayfin tell the story here: 

The biggest loser I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting while playing Dark Souls II. Story goes that myself and this guy ‘Jungle Ninja’ were both clangbanging as Bell Covenant members in Belfry Luna. We had both invaded this guy who had assistance from a Sunbro and were both at the top of the ladder where the bell is. I decided to wait for them both to come down, however Jungle Ninja decides to head up the ladder into an ambush and gets ganked by both of them. Soon the two jump down and I manage to take out the victim using poison and if it wasn’t for despawning also would have made away with the Sunbro. Minutes later I receive this message from Jungle Ninja.

Transcript:

Jungle Ninja: Are you serious? Two gankers and you don’t do anything about it? I’m going to ddos you. Gimme ten minutes I’m gonna ddos you.

My reply: Seriously? I took out both of them when they came down. It’s not my fault you ran off into an ambush.

Jungle Ninja: Yeah no you didn’t, uhh, I just asked them and I’m inclined to believe them.

My reply: Best stop lying and stop being so rubbish. Get good scrub!

Jungle Ninja: I invaded them instantly after you died you moron… That’s why I asked them. So nice try pretending like you won.

My reply: Mhmm, they beat your ass down that time too? I got some cream for that.

abadbadman asked: Have you seen Peeve's use of lifedrain and the ziplines? Pretty cool video for Peeve.

Yeah it’s pretty good. 

linky

Thanks chafing-nipples, I’m pretty sure this is the first time anyone has ever been called a Nobhead on the site.

I killed this guy 2 times and he got mad because I didn’t honor duel in the forest

transcript: Nobhead

Anonymous asked: What does WC stand for? I got killed by a ln invader today and he sent me a message after saying "WC to dark souls"

poutinewizard:

darksoulshaters:

I’m guessing it’s a dumb way to abbreviate “welcome” as in “Welcome to Dark Souls”

washing closet to dark souls

basically he’s saying you’re shit

Or this

(Reblogged from poutinewizard)

Anonymous asked: What does WC stand for? I got killed by a ln invader today and he sent me a message after saying "WC to dark souls"

I’m guessing it’s a dumb way to abbreviate “welcome” as in “Welcome to Dark Souls”

FrickenMoron got this after a BloodBro duel the other day

transcript: woooow, chug into dual avelyns, next level scum tactics rofl

Anonymous asked: Have you ever used that hex you get from the dark lurker soul to kill your host when summoned? I've been successful a few times but so far no hate.

The Hex is “Lifedrain Patch” and it’s hilarious. I haven’t been trolling hosts outside of Pursuer fights, but y’all should all watch this to get inspired. Next level trolling, right here. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luXTnkYTM4o

the-nunnery is still holding it down on the PC version of Dark Souls 1. 
This guy preferred hugging his claymore to holding a shield up, so he died. I wished him a happy women’s history month, too.
transcript: go fuck urself

the-nunnery is still holding it down on the PC version of Dark Souls 1. 

This guy preferred hugging his claymore to holding a shield up, so he died. I wished him a happy women’s history month, too.

transcript: go fuck urself

imploader asked: Personally, I find parries to be MUCH easier to land in DSII. I think I've already landed more of them the month the game's been out than in my entire DS 1 PvP career (which is roughly a year). It seems to just be me thinking this though. I guess the timing difference just speaks to me more than DS1 did.

I guess I just haven’t adjusted to the lag yet. 

What about the rest of y’all?